1. |
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I’m always always throwing up
But just the fact that you exist
Is enough motivation for me to get up
But man you sure are pretty
And god you sure are nothing like me
Fuck you sure are pretty
Yeah you sure are nothing like me
And I’ve been swallowing my pride
Still dry swallowing my pills
Saying I’m along for the ride
So come what will oh come what will
And we’re still moving the same exact way
Forward backwards forward
I don’t think I will ever grow up
Planning a dramatic exit
Is enough motivation for me to call you up
But man you sure are pretty
And god you sure are nothing like me
Fuck you sure are pretty
Yeah you sure are nothing like me
I saw your face on my tv your picture looked right me
On the channel four news can’t believe I saw you
It was like a ghost or a memory or a hollow reflection
Of the way things uses to be but aren’t anymore
Because we always move the exact same way
Backwards forward backwards
And I’m always always throwing up
But just the fact that you exist
Is enough motivation for me to get up
But man you sure are pretty
And god you sure are nothing like me
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2. |
Granted
03:33
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I slept in my sweater last night cuz it’s too cold and I don’t own a jacket
While you were screaming crying throwing up in someone’s bathroom
Asking me how was my night like nothing ever happened
I hope my fucking teeth fall out or at the very least you smash them
I don’t know you now
Or if I ever did
And I don’t know how to be alone
I’m tripping out man
I don’t know your doubts
So I can guess them
I’ll break your heart and go
If you want that
You’re not gonna tell me things I don’t wanna hear cuz I’m your friend and you’re dishonest
And I’ll be laying in a hole I’ve dug for myself when you walk in
Asking me why I’ve gone away like you’re not the one who caused it
I hope you have the nerve to call and keep it called inside your attic
I don’t know you now
Or if I ever did
And I don’t know how to be alone
I’m tripping out man
I can’t read your face so I’ll just guess
Your heart has been displaced and I’m unwanted
You can save your tired words for another day
Or wait until tomorrow and if you leave don’t forget to cry
And don’t come back you don’t have to lie
You save your tired words for another day
Don’t tell me that you miss me
And when you leave don’t forget to cry
And don’t come back you shouldn’t have to lie
I don’t know you now
Or if I ever wanted to
And I don’t know how to be alone
I’m tripping out man
I can’t read your mind so I’ll just guess
You knew it the whole time and I’m unwanted
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3. |
NodAndSayGoodbye
02:08
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Changes in your mood come with changes in the seasons
We’ve both got fingers down my throat for completely different reasons
And I’m passed out in a ditch
I am passed out in a gutter
It’s a familiar kind of itch
As I start to fucking stutter
That I’m finding lots of things
I am finding lots of things out
It’s a familiar kind of weight
The kind that pulls your brain down
But I won’t be unreasonable this time
I’ll just sigh and say goodnight
Won’t be too unreadable this time
I swear to you I swear to you I swear
I’ll just nod and say goodbye
I’m hanging up my clothes like I ever planned to stay
Saying I’ve got no horse in this race I’ve got no game to play
You’re staring at my mouth as it formulates each word
I know you know I’m lying cuz I’m just saying shit you’ve already heard
And I’m tearing up my rug
I am tearing up my carpeting
And rolling him up nice and snug
With half a major in marketing
But I won’t be unreasonable this time
I’ll just sigh and say goodnight
I won’t be too unreadable this time
I swear to you I swear to you I swear
I’ll just nod and say goodnight
One day we’ll make it out of Baltimore
If that is what you want
But I’ll probably come back to Baltimore
Because I don’t know what I want
And if the stars still say to find your place
Who am I to stop you
Drink a bottle of gin and crash at your place
Got nothing else to do
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4. |
In My Bones
02:37
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I’m fucking up
I don’t know a lot of words
I don’t know a lot but I know when it burns
It means we’re close
Just close enough to touch
Felt it in my bones I couldn’t be enough
It’s not too bad
The way we’ve grown
I have myself
You’re not alone
It’s difficult but not for long
I’ll be dead before I’m wrong
I am ducked up
I don’t know anything yeah
It’s a lot so I can say when it stings
It means we’re close
Just close enough to touch
Felt it in my bones I couldn’t be strong enough
Baby it’s messed up
The way I won’t learn
It’s just a cut but I know when it hurts
It means we’re close
Just close enough to fuck
Felt it in my bones I couldn’t be strong enough
I help you on my shoulders and I almost fell over
But it’s worth it after all
If it means you’ll return my god damn phone calls
It’s not too bad
The way we’ve grown
I have myself
She’s not alone
It’s difficult but not for long
I’ll be dead before I’m wrong
I felt it in my
Felt it my bones
(x3)
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5. |
Green
02:53
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The EMTs have nothing to gain
From holding your hand through the pain
Like the KGB just fell apart
The way you say life imitates art
Well I’m a believer in disbelief
Freezing out here in the heat
I’m tired and I’m wide awake
As my iron bones crack and break
But it’s just a shame you’ve gotta be alive to live
And it’s a game no one here could ever win
And the FDA is still against us
Your copper heart turned green with rust
I’m DOA in my old bedroom
Just hoping to feel better soon
And I wanna get sober
Don’t wanna die here
Don’t wanna die sober
Wanna disappear
But it’s just a shame you’ve gotta be alive to live
And it’s a game no one here could ever win
And this threadbare feeling is just unsubstantial
I think we’re nearing something close to the end
I am constant fear of forgetting to feel things
I think we’re nearing something close to nothing
Well I’m a believer in disbelief
Freezing out here in the heat
I’m tired and I’m wide awake
As my iron bones crack and break
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6. |
Bitter Song #124
03:34
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If there’s a choice I’d leave it alone
But I can’t do that I’m home alone
And it’s dark and I’m hungover
You’re in your car you got pulled over
I cared about you
I melt around you
But I felt surrounded
When you said aloud that
You felt so grounded
I heard my heart pound
And I left and you cried
And I think that night I finally died
And if there’s a chance for me to go home
I’d do it when the lights are real low
And it’s now or it’s whenever
You tore a hole in your sweater
I cared about you
I melt around you
But I felt surrounded
When you said aloud that
You felt so grounded
I heard my heart pound
And I left and you cried
And I think that night I finally died
Do you need me anymore
It’s all okay behind a closed
You’ll only leave when you get bored
It’s all okay
It’s all okay
(x3)
I cared about you
It’s all okay
It’s all okay
I melt around you
It’s all okay
It’s all okay
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7. |
Sugar Pills
01:42
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You were taking sugar pills instead of your real meds
Said the government is drugging you I don’t know what you meant
But you were scared so I said I’d be with you till the end
But I had no idea just how quick we’d reach the end
And I had no idea just how quick we’d reach the end
You were sliding dollar bills across the countertops
Silvery white powder you said it cost you all you got
I was taking sleeping pills trying to get away
From what is real from what is scary from what haunts me to this day
But I had no idea just how quick we’d reach the end
And I had no idea just how quick we’d reach the end
And it was a whispered secret in a dark room on the floor
It was the way your eyes looked when you said you needed more
It was a kiss inside a kitchen and a feeling in my face
It was the way you felt so warm when we made it back to your place
You were taking sugar pills instead of your real meds
Said your brain was just exactly how the way that it was meant
And you were scared so I stayed with you until we reached the end
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8. |
Everytoooth
02:32
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I wanna give into my survival instincts and tear apart this town
So nobody can
So nobody can pull me to the ground
I live in the mud
I belong where you belong
I couldn’t say these words to you anymore so I put it in this song
Cut out every tooth
Sitting in my gums
We’re never gonna stop
No yeah that’s it I’m done
You’re under special supervision but I can break you out
Break my back again
Break my back again throw my bones out
I live in the subway
I belong where I belong
I couldn’t muster up the nerve to tell you I was wrong
Yeah we’re a bad thing
At least that’s what I heard
A good morning for getting really stoned
Cut out every part
Of me that I have left
That aching guilty feeling
You gave when you left
Throw out every tooth
Living in the drawer
The kids are all grown up now
So I guess we’re done for
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9. |
Ford Cortina
02:02
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Party in my basement
Let’s get alcohol poisoning
It feels great but I hate it
I get it you’re avoiding me
Art is always hateful
Jesus doesn’t love us
Hearts often get anxious
When the going gets tough
Shots stirred with shoelaces
Fought off the bad guys
It was probably a mistake to assume I’m right
Do you feel bad
Do you feel anything
Do you feel bad
Can you feel anything
Running down the highway
Running from your car
We can ever be parents
How these bodies fall apart
Bright blue carpeting
From the bottom of your car
We can’t ever compare to this
To the way all our friends are
Pot is just another place
Made of every sleepless night
It was probably a mistake
To assume I’m right
Shots stirred with shoelaces
Fought off the bad guys
It was probably a mistake to assume I’m right
Do you feel bad
Do you feel anything
Do you feel bad
Can you feel anything
(x2)
My body’s numb
My frozen thumbs
I’m here for what’s to come
My brain it hurts
My bleeding tongue
I’m here for what’s to come
Shots stirred with shoelaces
Fought off the bad guys
It was probably a mistake to assume I’m right
Do you feel bad
Do you feel anything
Do you feel bad
Can you feel anything
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10. |
Home Away From Home
03:05
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It’s been so long my friend
I wonder so often what would have happened if this hadn’t ended
Cuz I’m so afraid of growing old without a cause
And I’m scared of growing up without a house or a dog
Watching movies in the dark
Just often enough so we can forget who we are and what we’ve become
Because it’s no longer fun
Almost crashing cars and chewing up your bubblegum from your mouth
I forget what that was about
That fever dream that infected both our houses
And I’m under interest from the police
Would you come pick me up in the car that you leased
Cuz I know no matter where we go
We’ll be in a home away from home (x2)
And its over and over and over and over again (x2)
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11. |
Human Being
05:13
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Sharp sudden pains and butterfly shaped glands
All that remains are the things you can’t stand
But your words are like water your words are like sand
Your words are intangible slip through my hands
And I’m scared that you think and I’m scared that I am
Oh please let me tell you how afraid I am
I threw up in your sink
I washed it all down
As you pushed your way through the heat of the crowd
I called out your name
I let us both down
I let you feel big let you push me around
But no more high school dances for us
No more hiding behind spiral bound notebooks
I’m scared that you’re scared that we’re changing too quickly
I’m not scared of you scared of what you could be
As I dig both my hands right down under my scalp
I let my hair fall it already falls out
And we raced the clock raced the hospital lights
You said please don’t say goodbye just say goodnight
I’m not sleeping I’m existing in a cold dark dim room
I wish I was different I wish I was you
And my body is leaden my throat weighs me down
My body is all you have left of our hometown
And I’m clawing at the walls I’m crawling away
I’m so terrified that you’ll ask me to stay
My life smells like rot
Like mildew and pot
And yours is the feeling of stomachs in knots
I tore at my skin
My blood on the rocks
You swore and you said I don’t know what I’ve got
But no more second chances for us
No more biding our time in your bedroom
I’m thinking we’re fucked there’s no way that we’re not
But we’re just not the types to be chased down and caught
And I figured this shit out I figured you out
I finally realized what you’re all about
You want to be kissed soft you want to be right
You don’t want my goodbyes you just want my goodnights
I don’t think my heart could beat that much faster
Without bursting and painting my dark insides bright
I don’t think I want to see this disaster
It’s hurting us both to even put up a fight
And we race the clock race the hospital lights
You say please don’t say goodbye just say goodnight
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12. |
Body Heat
04:47
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And I think I missed a lot of opportunities
And I think u kissed one too many people
Just maybe I still need your body heat
To keep me warm through the winter
So its an awkward kind of panic resonating in my brain
And your car is always breaking down middle of the lane
Saying that I’m always welcome back to live here in this place
But I don’t wanna stay in general my brother needs my help today
And I think I left it so deeply unexplained
And I think you left the kitchen light on
So here’s to hoping that things’ll change
and here’s to hoping that you’re not gone
So its an alright situation cuz I know you need your space
Otherwise you’ll still be breaking down outside my house again
And I know you’ve got nobody else so I know I can’t complain
But in this house I just can’t sleep until he comes back to bed
Is it bad that I still miss you
How you’d tell me your worst dreams
I kept that feeling in a paper cup
And call you when I feel needy
But now it’s just a headache
Don’t get the phone when it rings
The trees we planted grew so fast
I only wish I’d done the same
Said noticing the sun only means it’s going down
And keeping up with you is like asking to be drowned
And I’ll still say I love you never ask for a reply
And I’ll still say I love you up until the day I die
its an alright place to be as long as you’re baked
Three years from now we’ll be breaking down all the stupid shit we’ve said
Maybe we’ll all be so much better but who am I to say
That I won’t be alone and anxious waiting for an answer babe
So now I have a headache
Just watch my phone as it rings
The trees we planted grew so fast
I only wish we’d done the same
The trees we planted grew so fast
I only wish we’d done the same
And I’ll still say I love you never ask for a reply
And I’ll still say I love you up until the day I die (x2)
And I’ll still say I love you never ask for a reply
And I’ll still say I love you never ask for a reply
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