1. |
Happiness
02:56
|
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head is spinning
i can’t think
splash my face off
in the sink
i’m john wayne and i’m not sorry
homemade bongs and cowboy movies
god is winning
i can’t speak
he’ll slash my throat
to disagree
i’ll complain that i’m so worried
been so long since you’ve been happy
so tell me what your counselor thinks
jenna i’ve been losing sleep
i’m tired and i’m out of sync
don’t you look away from me
(x2)
don’t take me to the doctor
don’t put me in the car
don’t say that you will help me
just meet me at the bar
don’t fill up my prescription
don’t pin me to the floor
don’t take the bottle from me
just keep me wanting more
don’t wanna be your burden
don’t wanna be your chore
head is spinning
i can’t think
puke the pills up
in the sink
i’m the problem i’m not sorry
homemade bombs and playboy parties
god is winning
i can’t speak
the jukebox is
speaking to me
i’ll complain that i’m so worried
been so long since you’ve been happy
so tell me what your counselor thinks
jenna i’ve been losing sleep
i’m tired and i’m out of sync
don’t you look away from me
(x2)
don’t wanna be your burden
don’t wanna be your chore
(x2)
|
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2. |
Cry About
02:46
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oh jemina
october '71
her husband bought a gun
her hair's been falling out
napkin stained with blood
walking through the park
needle in his arm
you've gotta shove in down
you've gotta make it hard
and if you wanna be upset now
i'll give you something to cry about
do you remember being young
sweaty moons and trenton suns
now word is getting out
her husband says to run
choking on the shame
choking out her name
the venoms in his mouth
the poisons in his veins
oh jemina
and if you wanna be upset now
i'll give you something to cry about
she says she wants it to feel special
she says she wants it to be special
she says his heart is getting stronger
he gets his heartbeats from a needle
another way to leave things open
another way to stay unspoken
now the nights are getting longer
he gets his heartbeats from a dealer
and if she wants to be upset now
he'll give her something to cry about
|
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3. |
||||
i can see it now if i close my eyes and focus really hard
there are staples in my head, there are stitches down my arm
but my brothers and i are gonna find the guys who called our mom a whore
i am eight years old again, but i’m not eight years old anymore
and my sisters new boyfriend
is gonna teach me how to drive
he’s got tattoos that he carved in scars
on his body with a knife
she says if things are going good
he’ll do her name across his chest
i wanna ask him what the latin
on his right bicep says
and i hate school i’m gonna drop out
and be nomadic like my dad
i hate school i’m gonna drop out
and be nomadic like my dad
she sits me on her knee
and she tells me about hell
though something in her voice implies
i will find out for myself
but i know something about the devil
i have seen his ugly face
and he hangs out in my basement
with my big brothers lifting weights
and she hands me a rope
a bar of soap and a needle
a copy of the holy bible
she says the choice is my own
and she’s trying not to smile
and i can see it now if i focus really hard
me and my siblings and my friends in the back yard
armed with bats and rocks, we’re gonna find the guys who called our mom a whore
i am eight years old again, but i’m not eight years old anymore
and i hate school i’m gonna drop out
and be nomadic like my dad
i hate school i’m gonna drop out
and be nomadic like my dad
and she says i will most likely be
an addict like my dad
she says i will most likely be
an addict like my dad
|
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4. |
Baby T
03:55
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wearing denim on denim over sweaters in summer
baby t be good to me, and please don’t make me suffer
i am so afraid of pain that i can barely leave my home
but you laugh at this deficiency, i deserve to be alone
and need me terribly
you need me terribly
say you’re mad at me
say you’re leaving me
but need you terribly
i need you terribly
don’t be mad at me
my baby t
sharing secrets over soda over vodka over water
whispering obscenities so loud our friends can even hear it
i am so tired of guilt that i just keep my lips still
i don’t have too much to say these days, i’m quiet and i’m ill
and the pine trees outside of my window
are sighing like there’s something they know
bending like they can’t stay up anymore
creaking like bones when the wind blows
and they witness deterioration
and they wish they could help, but their roots are dug in
so they watch with such sad, sad, sad eyes
and they wait for the day they will die
so need me terribly
you need me terribly
say you’re mad at me
say you’re leaving me
but need you terribly
i need you terribly
don’t be mad at me
my baby t
swearing up and down and left and right and back and forth it’s over
baby t you’re killing me, so please don’t make this longer
than it has to be, you’re swallowing the things i love the most
and they paint your insides golden, spew out sunshine from your throat
and they paint your insides golden, spew out sunshine from your throat
and they paint your insides golden, spew out sunshine from your throat
and they paint your insides golden, spew out sunshine from your throat
oh baby t, don’t torture me, if you’re gonna leave just go
|
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5. |
Thirsty
02:31
|
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face your dark soul
take what you owe
leave this hell hole
destroy what you own
face the unknown
burn down your home
freeze all alone
freeze in the cold
we're so thirsty
we're so lonely
we're so worthy
we're so fucked up
write your name down
it's not yours now
can't stick around
can't get freaked out
write our story
know that one day
the earth will take you
keep what will stay
we're so thirsty
we're so lonely
we're so worthy
we're so fucked up
we're so ugly
we're so hungry
we're so sorry
we're so fucked up
|
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6. |
Vampires in Brooklyn
02:48
|
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the doctors said that you were healthy
and that you’re very, very lucky
but don’t go getting a big head now
those guys’ll say anything for money
but what do i know, i’m just bitter
i’m just lonely and i’m tired
disguising my distantness as mourning
we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t bad liars
it’s been one cold, cold month, holding out for the heat
while i’m waiting on you to turn your back on me
your friends will say that you’re all happy
and that you’re very, very loving
and if you wanted, i could do the same
i’d say anything for money
and what do i know, i’m just bitter
i can admit i think you’re lovely
you bought a gun, it’s on your bookshelf
and it’s been looking at you funny
it’s been one cold, cold month, holding out for the heat
while I’m waiting on you to turn your back on me
but they dressed us in white
like Stoker virgins in the moonlight
our necks open terribly wide
there’s holes in your skin
we could try to spin it better
like there’s vampires in Brooklyn
and their teeth are sharp as needles
when they dressed us in white
and left us stranded in the red light
by the morning we’ll be riddled with
a million scabbing, bleeding bites
and they left us stranded in the red light
by the morning we’ll be riddled with bites
|
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7. |
Palms Are Wet
04:44
|
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i wished destruction on you
in the most affectionate way
walked home with you
from high school
stopped for drugs on the way
and i bumped into your arm
and sometimes i let my hand sway
just enough to brush
yours in a causal way
and when your dealer asked about your girlfriend
i look the other way
and then he asked about my brother and i shrugged
there wasn't much to say
and later on that day
you called me your best friend
and you called me by the wrong name
in the same breath
my palms are wet
my fucking palms are wet
you taught me some second grade song
to remember the planets
i recited for you
just like i pander to my parents
like love me i am smart
i am so full of talent
but with my hands over your shirt
and my mind under the blankets
i'm still that full of desperation
still equally pathetic
how i wished my name was her name
only now can i admit it
and later on that day
you called me your best friend
and then turned the engine off
so we could have sex
my palms are wet
my fucking palms are wet
i dragged my hand slowly
dragged over your windshield
left a cascade of colors
smeared over the cornfield
that we were parked next to
some families income
the blood from the nailmarks
dug deep in my wet palms
and you told me don't do that
the car was your fathers
some part of me snapped
then was forced back together
and i dragged my hands slowly
dragged over your temples
you told me your mother
she had the worst temper
and she marked her hatred
onto you and your sister
some hollywood childhood
some sharp fabric scissors
and you called me a doormat
when i let you take pictures
the two of us naked
some part of me snapped
my palms are wet
my fucking palms are wet
|
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8. |
Those Charred Remains
03:45
|
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she says i'm mainly checking in
to make sure that you're okay
and that you're not those charred remains
they just found under the freeway
and her face is getting thin
and her eyes are half awake
and she doesn't speak or walk the same
ever since the
well ever since then
she says i'm sure you're not surprised
that things turned out this way
and there's something in her eyes
that makes me wanna look away
and she's been getting high
and she's been feeling strange
and i don't drink much anymore
ever since the
well ever since then
well ever since then
don't know where you've been
my walls are so quiet
without the whispers you send
ever since then
i sleep in my shoes
i can't decide if i should wait up for you
i should wait up for you
and if in her
and if in her face
i ever saw
i ever saw something
it was only
only the headlights
reflected in
reflected in my eyes
well ever since then
she mainly just checks in
to make sure that i'm okay
and to make sure that i'm not
any of those charred remains
they found under the freeway
|
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9. |
Honey
03:02
|
|||
you were born dying
the doctors revived you
in a moment your mother
would go on to resent
you weren't born crying
the world just surprised you
a little too much
to let you breathe in
you've got honey in your head
let it leak onto my lips
swear to god you tried to kill me
a couple times those first few minutes
was your name frances or agnes
madeline or something
i can't remember
ever since it's been a year
it's hard to keep my thoughts together
meningitis or a car
either way things went
the way things are
you've got honey in your head
let it leak onto my lips
swear to god that you won't hate me
by the time we're through with that
will it be sepsis first
or is it too presumptuous
to think their hearts
can't handle even half of us
your name is written on the wall
its been imprinted from the sky
helen helen i'm alone
i bet you can guess why
from sanctuaries to strip malls
lake superior to land mines
helen helen i'm so cold
without you by my side
you weren't crying
but that's the way you'll end up
in the winter in miami
doing someone else's standup
you were born dying
you'll never have to wonder
what's the point in even trying
'cause by now you know the answer
helen honey honey lips
there's not much left to wonder
|
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10. |
Confession
04:19
|
|||
oh powerful maria
i'll die before i treat you well
but tell me that you love me love
you think i'm someone else
don't roll over yet
please don't go to bed
the proof of my regrets
it is leaking from your head
so don't leave me again
i'll fix things like i said
the proof of my regrets
it is leaking from your head
i'll talk you through the fever
i'll tell you all about myself
but first say that you know me love
i worry for your health
that's the problem with you
you've got no sense of urgency
no sense
no sense at all
collapsing backward in the street
and the things that we've been through
don't mean all that much to me
and since
and since you asked
i know what you think of me
don't roll over yet
please don't go to bed
the proof of my regrets
it is leaking from your head
so don't leave me again
i'll fix things like i said
the proof of my regrets
it is leaking from your head
i'm doubtful maria
that we're getting out of this ourselves
but tell me that you need me love
i think that i need help
so don't leave me again
i am leaking from your head
|
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11. |
Couldn't Wake Him Up
01:20
|
|||
couldn't wake him up
so i decided just to stay and see
my head against his chest
every imaginary heartbeat
thudded like an orchestra
shuddered like a symphony
couldn't wake him up
so i decided just to leave
didn't give a fuck
about the people dying on tv
his nose bled down his dress
halfway through the movie
thought i was someone else
something else inside my body
couldn't wake him up
so i decided just to leave
couldn't wake him up
so i decided just to stay and see
my head against his chest
every imaginary heartbeat
thudded like an orchestra
shuddered like a symphony
couldn't wake him up
|
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12. |
Cotton Mouth The Snake
01:45
|
|||
they're bringing in the dogs to dig up my garden
look at this terrible mess you've started
i saw they showed your picture on my color tv baby
look at this terrible monster you made me
i filled in
my in the ground pool
i fucked up
my whole life for you
oh man
they're singing hymns while i sit in the back
a couple dozen people dressed in black
sweating like a whore and fingernails are bleeding
a couple dozen people but none of them wanna see me
i'm sleeping while i'm speaking and half the time i'm dreaming
just bow my head and hope that they don't see me
i hope the chapel roof caves in and none of us survive
look at this horrible world through my eyes
oh man
|
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13. |
Happiness 2
02:06
|
|||
don't take me to the doctor
the sky is full of stars
the air is sweet and humid
the walk isn't so far
to be shitfaced in the kitchen
to be talking to the floor
you can take the bottle from me
when i can't speak anymore
and tell me what your counselor thinks
jenna i've been seeing things
i'm tired and i'm out of sync
tell me you're not mad at me
god is winning i can't think
claw my eyes
and bear my teeth
and fill my cup
and poison me
and take me to
a better place
i'm better off
without a name
and swear to god
and swear to me
and kiss my lips
and poison me
and tell me what your counselor thinks
about us shitfaced in the kitchen
about me boarding up the door
do you think that they could help me
i can't say i'm so sure
don't wanna be your burden
don't wanna be your chore
|
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14. |
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they're gonna ship me off to the nuthouse soon
if i don't prove i can contribute
but i've got worries that breach the normalcy
into zones without much comfort
and i
i could just eat you alive
and they're gonna ship me off to the nuthouse soon
if i can't earn my weight in dollars
despite a couple fears of intimacy
i would say i've got a couple of things still going for me
and i
i could just eat you alive
|
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